There’s a celebration going on here, but exactly what kind of a party is it? That’s the question furrowing the brows of Mission: Impossible ultras and idle observers alike: whether this is the last ever M:I film; Tom Cruise’s exit from the franchise; or simply the completion of a “first cycle” of eight films (heaven help us, although it’s been one hell of a run of movies).
The good news is that after 169 minutes those nagging thoughts will be answered (kind of). However, what everyone expects — not least because this is the concluding chapter of the fantastic Dead Reckoning Part One — is for events to proceed with a gigantic, eyeball-popping bang.
So, oh dear when — instead of the customary self-destructing “Your mission, should you choose to accept…” message — Cruise’s rogue agent Ethan Hunt receives a mawkish tribute to his three decades of service, accompanied by a montage of his greatest hits from the M:I films.
This sentimental, valedictory nostalgia is peppered throughout. Holt McCallany’s defence secretary will joke how Hunt rocked up at an event in the previous outing disguised as the CIA director. “Oh, that cad Ethan!” you can almost hear him saying, like he’s delivering an awkward speech at a retirement drinks. It’s all a little saccharine.
Meantime, director Christopher McQuarrie (who made the three instalments before this) has a plot to complete: defeat “truth-eating digital parasite” the Entity, an advanced AI taking over cyberspace and arming itself with the world’s nuclear arsenals.
To destroy the Entity, all you need is a cruciform key, a device called “the poison pill” and to locate the Entity’s source code (on a wrecked Russian submarine at the bottom of the ocean).
Esai Morales is back as reasonably convincing baddie Gabriel, who wants the Entity for his own nefarious purposes. Hayley Atwell returns as Hunt’s pickpocket sidekick Grace, as do Simon Pegg’s chirpy tech guru Benji, Ving Rhames as long-time Hunt ally Luther and Pom Klementieff’s kick-ass killing-machine, Paris.
Noticeably absent is Vanessa Kirby’s White Widow, who injected the first part of this story with a rush of vampish delight that’s sadly missing here.
Meanwhile, in come some new cameos. Hannah Waddingham’s aircraft-carrier commander is so-so, while Tramell Tillman is on wry, eyebrow-rippling form as a submarine captain (“If you wanna poke the bear, you’ve come to the right man”). However, Janet McTeer is wasted as an almost-dialogue-free “extra” in President Angela Bassett’s war room.
And so, multiple characters, in true M:I style, criss-cross the planet, turning a straightforward goal into a very convoluted enterprise. There are megatonne bombs on timers to disable and plenty of talk about “the end of the world as we know it”.
Cruise strips down to his swimming trunks (like Daniel Craig but pleasingly unafraid to let his ageing pot-belly hang out) for some spectacularly breathless underwater scenes.
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However, what many fans will be doing for the best part of three hours is hoping for an action sequence that eclipses the astonishing “falling through the train” stunt from Dead Reckoning Part One. No spoilers, but some might be left wanting.
This should have been an all-guns-blazing blowout — it feels like a party where someone forgot to pop the cork.
In cinemas from May 21